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Adding my midnight musings, updating now page

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Awstin 2024-10-01 20:49:10 -04:00
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blog/FirstStepsToDigitalIndependence.html
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id: fsdi
title: First Steps to Digital Independence
previous: independence
next: wdtg
next: mm
date: 2023-08-28
---
<h2>First Steps to Digital Independence</h2>

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id: mm
title: Midnight Musings
previous: fsdi
date: 2024-10-01
---
<h2>Midnight Musings</h2>
<p>
Last Wednesday night/Thursday morning I was awake for a few hours in the middle of the night.
Mind was racing and got it out on the page.
Some interesting thoughts, still processing.
I was going to edit it but decided to just post it as is.
</p>
<hr>
<p>
I make my art.<br>
In words, in simple characters.<br>
In code.
</p>
<p>
It is not traditionally beautiful.<br>
But it is to me.<br>
The purity of function.<br>
Not a clock cycle wasted on carrying out a useless task.<br>
Maybe I will learn to wrap that in an aestetic beauty someday.<br>
But that purity is the core of it.
</p>
<p>
Words don't express things so clearly.<br>
The ideas they convey are not the black and white of machine instructions.<br>
So I shape them around what I want to say.<br>
Showing it in outlines and shadows.
</p>
<p>
It is late...<br>
After midnight.<br>
I tried to sleep but was restless.<br>
My foot twitching as I lay in bed.<br>
My mind spinning working on the website.<br>
More data to store and organize.
</p>
<p>
The functionality is small.<br>
Something that I can hold in my head all at once.<br>
I like this scale.<br>
One where I find myself coming alive.<br>
A passion, interest, even furvor that I don't normally find in myself.<br>
This is what it means to live, to work.<br>
To focus on one thing with all of its challenges.<br>
And see it through.
</p>
<p>
Is it the passion that keeps me up?<br>
Or the fear that if I sleep it will leave me?<br>
The task can be picked up tomorrow.<br>
But the mind works when it decides to.<br>
I find it much easier to turn it on then off.
</p>
<p>
So strange that my energy can come back fully without sleep.<br>
I was almost falling asleep in a work meeting at 16:00.<br>
Now almost 9 hours later I am more awake then I was all day.
</p>
<p>
Committing these words to (digital) paper.<br>
Was wanting to write by hand but also not turn on any lights.<br>
So a tablet and stylus will do.
</p>
<p>
Code is the modern magic...<br>
A magic, for there are many and it would be supremely arrogant to put my chosen sorcery above the others.<br>
We all have our chosen magics.<br>
Acts that feel divine.<br>
That we can't explain even if we can explain all that goes into them.<br>
For me it is creating and fixing things.<br>
Improving or modifying.<br>
The change.<br>
Trasition from one state to another.<br>
Broken to fixed,<br>
parts to whole,<br>
materials to a final object.
</p>
<p>
In this way tools are my talismans.<br>
How I commune with this divinity of mine.<br>
My computer, keyboard, pens, saws, knives, screwdrivers... and everything else.
</p>
<p>
I was pondering why I always carry some basic tools with me even if I don't use them all that often.<br>
They are my connection to this.<br>
My acceptance and willingness to do this work wherever and whenever it is needed.
</p>

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templates/now.html
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{% block content %}
<p>
Last updated: 2024-09-07
Last updated: 2024-10-01
</p>
<h2>Work</h2>
<p>
Still in Toronto, still working in software at Amazon.
My team writes tools to help automate and test new machine setups.
Working on fixing up and expanding a tool that I wrote earlier in the year that didn't quite make it into production.
After the meeting showing the tool the team it was for had a couple more features they wanted added before it was deployed.
The configurations had changed before I got those done and some parts had to be redesigned/rebuild.
Making it more adaptable to keep this drift from happening in the future.
Preparing for the spike of traffic over peak.
Struggling with personal moral issues with the company as a whole (everyone I work with is great).
Putting some last touches on a project that I have been working on for a while, hoping to get it out this week.
</p>
<h2>Life</h2>
<p>
@ -20,23 +17,23 @@
We have booked a venue and a date!!
So excited and frees us up to start booking a lot of other stuff.
Found a wonderful venue that incorporates a lot of nature and is comfortably in our budget.
Spent every moment outside of work for a week putting together our wedding website, and setting it up for people to RSVP and organize all the data.
Was so much fun to use my skills to build something for the wedding and makes me feel really connected to the process.
</p>
<p>
Actually planning for the long term financially now that I am lucky enough to have a job that leaves me with money to save and invest after the bills are payed.
It still feels new to have that cushion and to plan long term, definitely enjoying it.
Working to find the path that feels right for me career wise.
Exploring various options and starting to look for places that align personally with my values.
</p>
<h2>Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu</h2>
<p>
Got my blue belt just before the new year.
The team here at GB Toronto has become an external family.
I am so grateful for the community.
</p>
<p>
Competiton coming up on September 14th.
Not may of us from the school are going to compete but there are some members coming out to support.
Pulled back on training a bit after the last competition to make sure I had some balance in my life.
I want this training to be sustainable for the long term.
Just competing in Gi this time as opposed to both Gi and No-Gi.
Lost at the recent competition to a flying arm bar.
Was pretty cool if I do say so myself.
Pulled back on training a bit to balance various activities in life a little better.
Looking forward to a more relaxed winter season without needing to prep for any competitions.
</p>
<h2>Learning</h2>
<p>
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</p>
<h2>Tinkering</h2>
<p>
This website is the main thing that I have been working with.
Added a <a href="/uses">uses page</a> recently with just a list of the common things that I use every day.
Going to add links and other curated stuff next.
I love these pages on other personal websites and want to contribute to that.
The last week has been spent entirely on the wedding website.
Would link here but we have it shut down for guest access only because it contains a lot of personal information.
It was the first time that I have done any web development work with cookies or authentication systems.
That was really cool to figure out and implement.
</p>
<p>
I am looking at restructuring the site into more of a <a href="https://hapgood.us/2015/10/17/the-garden-and-the-stream-a-technopastoral/">garden than a stream.</a>
It is a structure that I find much more interesting and fits with how I want to build much more.
Treating most things as timeless and growing as opposed to a strict timeline.
It is how I keep most of my personal notes, dates more of as reference than things needing to be in order.
Will see how that works.
I like that I got to build it myself and have it customized slightly for each guest with a personal message and using proper names instead of general "you" etc.
Also set up a database to store all the various RSVPs, seating arrangements, and menu choices once we get to that point.
</p>
<p>
Set up my own code forge to be able to share my code without having to post it to github.
Can see it <a href="https://code.achubb.com">here</a>.
</p>
<p>
I dove hard down the custom keyboard rabbit hole this past week.
Going to be making a second one for myself to keep at work, and making one for each of my brothers.
Can (and have somewhat been) getting lost in the minutiae of layouts, switches, design.
It has been a lot of fun (and I apologise to my fiance for the constant clicking as I test out different switches).
It was the first time that I gave myself a personal project and a short deadline (a week essentially) and hammered it out around work.
Really pleased with that level of depth and focus, very excited to try and keep that momentum going working on other stuff.
Some extra things to add to this site, and some other things I have been thinking about.
</p>
<p>
Awstin