2024-10-01 20:49:10 -04:00
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id: mm
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title: Midnight Musings
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previous: fsdi
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2025-01-22 07:41:11 -05:00
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next: ct
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2024-10-01 20:49:10 -04:00
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date: 2024-10-01
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---
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<h2>Midnight Musings</h2>
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<p>
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Last Wednesday night/Thursday morning I was awake for a few hours in the middle of the night.
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Mind was racing and got it out on the page.
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Some interesting thoughts, still processing.
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I was going to edit it but decided to just post it as is.
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</p>
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<hr>
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<p>
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I make my art.<br>
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In words, in simple characters.<br>
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In code.
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</p>
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<p>
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It is not traditionally beautiful.<br>
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But it is to me.<br>
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The purity of function.<br>
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Not a clock cycle wasted on carrying out a useless task.<br>
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Maybe I will learn to wrap that in an aestetic beauty someday.<br>
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But that purity is the core of it.
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</p>
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<p>
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Words don't express things so clearly.<br>
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The ideas they convey are not the black and white of machine instructions.<br>
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So I shape them around what I want to say.<br>
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Showing it in outlines and shadows.
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</p>
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<p>
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It is late...<br>
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After midnight.<br>
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I tried to sleep but was restless.<br>
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My foot twitching as I lay in bed.<br>
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My mind spinning working on the website.<br>
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More data to store and organize.
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</p>
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<p>
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The functionality is small.<br>
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Something that I can hold in my head all at once.<br>
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I like this scale.<br>
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One where I find myself coming alive.<br>
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A passion, interest, even furvor that I don't normally find in myself.<br>
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This is what it means to live, to work.<br>
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To focus on one thing with all of its challenges.<br>
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And see it through.
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</p>
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<p>
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Is it the passion that keeps me up?<br>
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Or the fear that if I sleep it will leave me?<br>
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The task can be picked up tomorrow.<br>
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But the mind works when it decides to.<br>
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I find it much easier to turn it on then off.
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</p>
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<p>
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So strange that my energy can come back fully without sleep.<br>
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I was almost falling asleep in a work meeting at 16:00.<br>
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Now almost 9 hours later I am more awake then I was all day.
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</p>
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<p>
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Committing these words to (digital) paper.<br>
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Was wanting to write by hand but also not turn on any lights.<br>
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So a tablet and stylus will do.
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</p>
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<p>
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Code is the modern magic...<br>
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A magic, for there are many and it would be supremely arrogant to put my chosen sorcery above the others.<br>
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We all have our chosen magics.<br>
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Acts that feel divine.<br>
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That we can't explain even if we can explain all that goes into them.<br>
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For me it is creating and fixing things.<br>
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Improving or modifying.<br>
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The change.<br>
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Trasition from one state to another.<br>
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Broken to fixed,<br>
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parts to whole,<br>
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materials to a final object.
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</p>
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<p>
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In this way tools are my talismans.<br>
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How I commune with this divinity of mine.<br>
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My computer, keyboard, pens, saws, knives, screwdrivers... and everything else.
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</p>
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<p>
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I was pondering why I always carry some basic tools with me even if I don't use them all that often.<br>
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They are my connection to this.<br>
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My acceptance and willingness to do this work wherever and whenever it is needed.
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</p>
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